“Your team isn’t listening to what you say. They’re watching what you do.”
When we ask leaders about their organisational culture, we often hear something like:
“Oh, we have great values, they’re on our website and posters in the office.”
But here’s the hard truth: culture isn’t your posters, your policies, or even your mission statement. Culture is what happens in the spaces between meetings. It’s what you tolerate, encourage, and model, day in and day out.
At Nexus Ally, we work with organisations across education, business, and community sectors. In every team, no matter the size or industry, culture shows up in two ways:
✔️ The espoused culture, the one you talk about.
✔️ The lived culture, the one your people actually experience.
When there’s alignment, teams thrive. When there’s a gap, trust erodes.
So let’s talk about why this matters, and how to close the gap.
The Culture You Walk Past
There’s a saying we often share in workshops:
“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”
Think about it:
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If gossip happens in the break room and no one addresses it…
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If one high performer consistently misses deadlines and it’s excused…
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If people interrupt in meetings and leaders don’t intervene…
Those behaviours become the culture.
In other words, your team is always learning from what’s tolerated, not just what’s celebrated.
This isn’t about micromanagement or perfectionism. It’s about intentionality, leading with clarity and compassion to create a culture that aligns with your organisation’s values.
Why Values Alone Aren’t Enough
It’s easy to define values in a strategy session:
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Respect
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Integrity
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Collaboration
But values aren’t real until they’re:
✅ Visible in daily behaviour
✅ Embedded in systems and processes
✅ Reinforced through accountability
For example:
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Respect means all voices are heard in meetings—not just the loudest.
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Integrity means following through on commitments—even when it’s hard.
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Collaboration means sharing credit, resources, and responsibility.
When leaders embody these values consistently, they cascade through the team. When leaders say one thing but do another, cynicism grows.
A Deloitte study found that 94% of executives believe their culture is strong, but only 19% of employees agree. That’s a massive gap—and it impacts engagement, performance, and retention.
The Hidden Cost of Misaligned Culture
Here’s what we see in teams where the lived culture doesn’t match the espoused culture:
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High turnover (“People don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad cultures.”)
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Low psychological safety (staff are afraid to speak up)
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Passive resistance (tasks get done, but with minimal effort or innovation)
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Burnout (people feeling unseen or unsupported)
And the cost isn’t just emotional, it’s financial. Gallup estimates that a disengaged employee costs their organisation 34% of their salary in lost productivity.
Shifting From Preached to Practiced
Here’s how we guide leaders to build congruence between values and culture:
1. Start With Self-Awareness
Culture change begins with leadership. Ask yourself:
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“Do my actions match our values?”
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“Where am I walking past behaviours I shouldn’t?”
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“What do I model under stress, control or connection?”
Your team doesn’t need you to be perfect, they need you to be consistent.
2. Define Behavioural Anchors
It’s not enough to say “We value collaboration.” Define what it looks like in action.
❌ Vague: “We value respect.”
✅ Clear: “We listen without interrupting, and we assume positive intent.”
When values are operationalised, they become part of decision-making, performance reviews, and team norms.
3. Embed Culture Into Systems
Culture isn’t just relational, it’s structural. Are your hiring practices, onboarding processes, and meeting rhythms aligned with your values? Or are they unintentionally rewarding the opposite?
4. Have Courageous Conversations
When someone’s behaviour doesn’t align with team values, address it early. This isn’t about punishment, it’s about realignment.
“I noticed X in the meeting today, and it doesn’t align with how we agreed to show up as a team. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
Leaders who avoid these conversations send an unspoken message: This behaviour is okay.
Real Stories of Culture in Action
We recently worked with a school where the stated values included “collaboration” and “respect.” But during our initial observations, meetings were dominated by a few voices, and staff hesitated to raise concerns.
Through leadership coaching and facilitated workshops, we helped the leadership team:
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Model inclusive meeting practices
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Create clear agreements about communication
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Address longstanding tensions openly and compassionately
Six months later, staff surveys showed a 40% increase in psychological safety and a noticeable improvement in collaboration.
The biggest change? Leaders started embodying the culture they wanted to see.
You Are the Culture
As a leader, you’re not just part of the culture, you are the culture.
Your tone sets the tone. Your actions set the standard.
The question isn’t, “Do we have a culture?”
It’s, “Is our culture helping or harming our people and our mission?”
You can write values on the wall.
You can talk about them at staff meetings.
But until they’re lived, modelled, and reinforced, they’re just words.
The good news? You don’t need a complete organisational overhaul to start. Culture shifts happen one choice at a time, one conversation, one alignment, one courageous moment.
Want our free Culture Alignment Checklist to assess where your team is at? DM us “CULTURE” or email hello@nexusally.com.au and we’ll send it straight to your inbox.